Bathroom Etiquette Vol. 3

Here are some more bathroom etiquette rules. I believe the ladies will appreciate it and the men will hate it.
Sorry fellas, I'm sucker for a lady in distress.

1. After you use the toilet, close the damn lid! There is no need for the lid to be up. Unless, its your drinking bowl and its too much effort for you to lift it every time you want a drink.
2. If you are like Shaq missing free throws and you can't hit the toilet or sprinkle while you tinkle! Wipe it up off the floor or squat on the damn toilet! If she doesn't put up with your shit, she sure as hell does not want to step in your piss!!

Damn fellas show a little kindness for the ladies.

see ya 

dog gone

Dogman707

Teenage Years 3

We are slowly coming to a conclusion of my day. The last song on my musical journey is cuing up. My eyes slowly open wide. My nostrils flare as I take a long deep breath. I focus on the future while staring out my bedroom window. The rays of the setting sun are dancing across the sky. As the curtain falls on today, I know it will rise for a new day. My future! It does not matter what the future holds for me because I'm the captain of my life. There will be people leaving my life as I adventure into the future. I will cherish the memories of my friends and the people I meet. I will revisit them as I return to these songs. There will be troubled waters and I will return to these songs for inspiration. The one thing that has not changed is the illusion that we are alone and everyone is better than ourselves. Yes, there are times that I'm alone on my boat. But, it is meant for me to be alone for the moment. There is a message for me in silence of the still waters. There is a message for me in the raging waters. I have to listen for the whisper. So, my friend if you are tired of feeling alone and need a ride. Hop aboard and join the journey. I cannot tell you the future. I cannot tell you were the pot of gold is. All I can tell you is that you are the captain of your future. Tomorrow will get better. When will the better tomorrow be? My friend, I do not know. Rest assured my friend. You are not alone. We are all in the same boat. We just don't see each other for the fog of our troubles. Thank you my friend for the darkness is lifting and I see sunlight of the future shining my way.

see ya

dog gone

Dogman707

                          Come Sail Away - Styx

Teenage Years 2

As we continue this quest through my youth, another song raises to fill your ears. My anger has built up and is still there as Fooling Yourself fills the room. The stereo is cranked up with the album spinning on the turn table. Yes, I'm an angry young man. The world just doesn't seem fair. I got to quit feeling sorry for myself. I am young and resilient. I slowly pick myself up and realize that the world is at my feet. I'm  going to continue on. I scream at the top of my lungs,"I coming and I coming strong!" The world will not crush me. It may rough me up, but I will survive. World take your shot.


Fooling Yourself - Styx

 If you have the album, you can hear a synthesize duck quacking. Vinyl has a sweet sound. It's about 3:09 on this video or CD.. So, turn up the volume to listen for it.

see ya

dog gone

Dogman707

Teenage Years

Grand Illusion - Styx

Let us slip back to 1977 and the troubled teenage years of my youth. The one thing that has never changed is the human feeling of being alone and not fitting in. So sit back, close your eyes, listen to the music and take a ride. You are down and loneliness is setting in. You have your ticket to life and are coming out into the world. Which way do you turn? Why do I not seem to have it all together? The media paints a picture of fantasies and illusion of life. But, my friend do not forgot. We are all the same and have worries. They maybe different worries, but just as important. The song sums it up very well. You will find your path in life. So, may love and hope grow in your life.

see ya,

dog gone

Dogman707

Grapes of Wrath (my version)

This weekend I was laying on the couch with my eyes closed. I was absorbing the movie that was on TV. With my eyes closed I could take in every word and create my own image of the events. Oh crap! OK I fell asleep on the couch. You happy now? I confess. As I was in my world of relaxation, I started to feel this thump. I would feel this thump repeatedly. I thought it was part of my dream, but the thumps kept getting faster than the action in my dream. My eyes open as a grape was traveling to the middle of my forehead. Suddenly, more came hurling toward me. My family was taking turns throwing grapes at me! The were keeping score on who could hit me in the middle of my forehead! Hell, it must have been a pound of grapes on the couch and the floor. I asked,"What the Hell are you guys doing?" I had to act pissed. I couldn't let them know that I thought this was funny as hell. I'm thankful that it wasn't the apples or worse the damn cantaloupes. So, I will have to remember this and plot my revenge on this little family of mine. Them dang turds. Beware if you like to fall asleep on the couch. You may have someone in your life the may do this.

see ya

dog gone

Dogman707

Bathroom Etiquette - Volume 2

After a long night, I returned to work early in the morning. I had a quick breakfast and had to go to the restroom afterwards. As I sat there with my moment of silence. My moment of tranquility before the day begins. Yes,I did the courtesy flush. Coming from above, I hear "Good morning Dog."  It startled me from my drowsiness. I instantly replied, "God?" and instantly cleared my bowels some more. I wondered am I dead? What did I do now? I hear a slight chuckle from above. I slowly raised my head and looked toward the ceiling. Low and Behold, I see some eyes staring down at me. Its the company's CEO looking down on me as he is pissing in the next stall. What the hell!
He was a former basketball player and stands between 6'-9" and 7'-2". He can look over bathroom stalls while standing flat footed on the floor. He literally scared the shit out of me. I thought I was alone and with my thoughts. Damn him. So, here is another rule to bathroom etiquette.

1. If you are tall enough to look over into the next bathroom stall to you. DO NOT LOOK! The person in the next stall does not want or need an audience. If they want company or an audience, they may ask you. So keep your eyes on your business.
2. Again, DO NOT LOOK over the partition.

see ya

dog gone

Dogman707

Bathroom Etiquette

Here are some Simple Rules to Bathroom Etiquette for you grown ass adult men in the office environment.(or any bathroom)

1. Always do a Courtesy Flush. Your wife or partner doesn't want to smell your stink. What the hell makes you think anyone else wants to smell it?  You are not some child that just got potty trained. Or are you just so damn proud that you can use the adult toilet. So, quit simmering in your stinky crap and do a Courtesy Flush!!  Dammit!
2. Never talk on the cell phone when your are taking a dump! Nobody wants to hear your conversion while your savoring  your stinky shit. That we Don't want to smell!! Shut the F-up and Flush!
3. Always Flush after dumping. It is not a work of art. You can recreate it again. Flush the damn thing. And Always use toilet paper! Unless you're a dog. Then lick your ass your lazy son of a bitch

How do I know that you did not use toilet paper? Because there were two new rolls of toilet paper in the stall. And the python of a turd that you left in the toilet did not have any toilet paper with it! Or did you put the dirty paper in your pocket? You idiot with the dirty ass.

These rules are good to use for any restrooms.

This rant is brought to you because somebody is not properly house broken. This bathroom is in an executive office environment. All the men that use this restroom are college educated . This was not in some rat hole of a service station. And it was one too many turds that were in my crappy day. So, I had to say something.

see ya,

dog gone 

Dogman707