Observations by Dogman707

     Well, I decided to have a little intermission  between chapters about Memphis. Early this morning I was driving by an old pecan orchard near the county penal farm. There was about a dozen people looking for pecans and gathering them as they found a good pecan. If you had the privilege of living in a big city that has a lot trees, you will know that squirrels are plentiful. As a child, we had two pecan trees in our backyard. It was the kids' job to gather all the pecans that they can before the squirrels got them. It was during these chores of gathering that I made this observation. You know the old saying birds of a feather flock together. It basically means that people tend to hang around with people of like mind. Well, my observation evolved and developed during one of this collecting of the pecans. I have determined that people need to be like squirrels. The city squirrels  were quick and smart. It was hard for us to find the good pecans. The squirrels had already picked the good ones. We would find a whole pecan and crack it open. It was rotten. Over half of the pecans that had fallen on the ground were bad. The squirrels had already culled through the pecans and collected the good ones. I wondered how did the squirrels know which was the good ones and which was the rotten ones. I pondered that thought and then I thought of how we select our friends. We need to be like squirrels and collect all the good nuts (friends) that we can. I got to say I have a rather good collection of nuts to help me in life. I will continue to look for and gather more good nuts as I travel through life. I will continue to store and rely on these good nuts when things get tough. You can never have enough. So, think like a squirrel and collect all the good nuts you can.

See ya,

dog gone

Dogman707

The Bastard Child - Chapter 2

   Well, it has been a few months after Memphis's parent divorced. Memphis and his little sister go and visit their grandmother. Their grandmother was a heavy smoker. She would smoke Old Gold, Pall Mall, Lucky Strike, or Camels unfiltered. The house would get real smokey and on this day it was a nice sunny day. So, Memphis and his little sister decided to play outside. Grandmother owned several acres of land. Grandpa had several old Chevy's on the property. They were old and rusty with broken windows with weeds and trees growing out of them. Memphis and his little sister Cathy went exploring the property. There was a house full of old pinball machines. The mechanical ones and a few electric but not many of those. As, they played and explored. They found the old cars. The doors were hard to open with all the dents and rust. It was hard for small kids to open, but they got some open. Some of the floor boards of the cars were rusted all the way through. You could see the ground and small saplings sprouting up into the car. Field rats have been living in some of them. The evidence of rat turds were plentiful in some cars. Well, they played in and on the cars pretending to drive and wash the cars. Memphis and Cathy started throwing rocks in the air and at the trees. Then, they started throwing them at the cracked windows of some of the cars. They busted out a couple of the small side widows of a car. Grandma appeared out of no where and screamed "What are you doing?" Memphis and Cathy jumped out of their skins and their eyes open wide like a mason jar lid. She grabbed them firmly by their arms and dragged them to the front yard. She broke a large wisp off a willow tree to make a switch to spank them with. She had the switch in her right hand and was hollering at them both. As she was screaming at them, Cathy with her head down slowly moved to Grandma's side. She hugged Grandma's left leg and Grandma started to stroke Cathy's long hair as she continued to lash out at Memphis. He stood there with tears building up in his green eyes as Grandma gave him the verbal  beat down. Memphis could not understand why he was getting the punishment. They both committed the same crime, but he was getting punished.Confused because they both were guilty of the crime. Then, his mother appeared and stood by Cathy. Grandma was screaming loud and clear.  She started telling him that he was worthless. She screamed, "Memphis you are no good, you are worthless and will amount to nothing! You are nothing but trouble and always will be. You are a Bastard Child! You are the reason your mother got divorced! You were the cause of it! Nobody wants you!" This moment Memphis learned that life can be hell. Everything froze for Memphis when she spoke those words. She is still screaming at him as the tears froze on his cheeks in the middle of a Tennessee summer. She has ripped his heart from his chest and with each word spoken. It was like she was crushing his heart in her hand. He stood there daze watching her shake her fist at him violently and her face red with anger and hatred. She was like a rabid hyena on the Serengeti devouring her pray. His spirit was thrashed about and shaken like a sail in a hurricane. With each and every word, Memphis watched her squeeze his blood, soul, and spirit out of his heart.There it was his soul and spirit dripping to the dust below their feet. Her fist shaking in anger and her words shredding his soul as she squeezed his heart like a tomato. He look at his mom and she said nothing to ease or stop this attack on her son, the cat. No one was coming to his rescue. He was all alone. Memphis realized that the Bastard Child that was spoken in whispers in his presence was him. No wonder, he felt connected to this person. He always had a feeling. Now it was confirmed. His grandma scream the words and no one denied it. The silence was deafening and the expression on his sister's and mom's face. They were blank and cold. It was like the cameramen watching the hyena attacking a helpless buck. They will not intervene and alter the course of nature. Only the strong will survive. The young buck will be consumed because of nature. He did not belong and was the weak one. The misfit of the herd. If you know anything about the south, you will know its the bible belt of the nation. In the 70's, the churches were very primitive and narrow in their thinking. Memphis learned from church that bastards are not welcomed in Heaven. His relatives always spoke of how bastards will not inherit a place in Heaven. Memphis thought how can God bring this on an innocent child. This child has not committed any crimes or sins. He was a result of two  so called adults coming together. Even if this was a result of a sinful connection. Why should someone innocent be punish for wanting to live. He wants to dream and enjoy life. He wants to laugh, love, and to be loved. But because of this belief, he was doomed to eternal damnation. At that moment, Memphis realized that none of that was in his future. He was destine for eternal torture and damnation. His soul, spirit, blood and desire to live was squeezed out of him. Grandma revealed it to him with the precision of an atomic bomb. She made sure nothing survived and that it would be scattered  into the wind. Memphis's legs gave way and he was falling to the ground like an inflatable Santa when the fan is shut down. As Memphis was crashing to the ground, he looked into their eyes and there were no tears. He was at this moment all alone. The sun has gone dark and he was numb. The hope, love, and dreams were no more. He had nothing more to lose. Everything was strip from him. With his knees almost too the ground, Memphis stopped. Something snapped! He clinched his fists and scream a blood curdling scream. He was angry with God for allowing him to be born and destine to hell. He was angry with the devil. He arose from the free fall and with clinched fist thrusting into the air.He had nothing to lose. He was at the deepest point in his life. His family did not want him or God did not desire him. He was declaring a war on everyone and everything.

(to be continued)

See ya,

dog gone

Dogman707

If this song was around at this time, it would sum up how Memphis felt that day.